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A personal drama has gone viral online as a young woman reached out to others for help in navigating her sticky travel situation.
After a great deal of back and forth, she said she’s now “refusing to help my boyfriend’s dying mother while planning a trip to Europe” — and wondered what others thought.
Fox News Digital reached out to a clinical psychologist for insight as people on Reddit weighed in on the drama.
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Describing herself as 25 years old, the woman said she lives with her boyfriend — and about a month ago, his mom “began claiming she’s dying of cancer, but no diagnosis has been confirmed. Every hospital visit ends with her being sent home. A nurse even [said] she might be faking,” the woman wrote.
The mother asked to “stay one night” at the couple’s small apartment, which “turned into a week of chaos,” said the young woman.
A woman writing on Reddit said she’s “refusing to help my boyfriend’s dying mother while planning a trip to Europe” — and she asked others for their honest opinions of her difficult situation. (iStock)
“The apartment smelled awful, everything had to be dark and silent, and she constantly demanded help,” the woman wrote.
Then the mother “suggested we move in with her, an hour from our jobs/school.”
The young woman said she’s a full-time student currently holding two jobs, and she began “falling behind.”
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Her boyfriend changed his full-time job to a fully remote position so he could care for his mother, the young woman added.
The health updates “were always shifting,” however, she said. “MRI, canceled surgery, then chemo postponed due to infection, then E. coli. Always a new reason. No clear diagnosis or paperwork,” she continued.
The young woman then described a scenario in which “we were supposed to take her to the ER … but we ended up staying 16 hours [at the mother’s home] doing chores. I folded 420 clothing items, cleaned the whole house, and felt like her unpaid maid. Not a single please or thank you.”
A young woman on Reddit described the work she’s been doing for her boyfriend’s mother, who is apparently ill — and now the young woman is questioning the entire situation as she plans a trip to Europe. (iStock)
She went on, “She was stalling to go to the ER, and when we finally got there at 5 a.m., she said she’d check herself in and sent us home. Three hours later, she called again, sobbing for help. She had been rejected by the ER.”
Wrote the woman, “I suspect she faked it.”
The young woman said she and her boyfriend had been “skipping meals, losing sleep and falling behind at work to help her.”
“If it were your mom, would you help her?”
To further complicate things, the mother’s boyfriend, an apparent alcoholic, began sending the young couple “aggressive texts” — then “later apologized,” according to the thread.
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The mother then “called again begging for help. But this time, she wanted me … I needed that weekend to study for final exams. And going to that house alone seemed sketchy.”
The young woman said she’s now planning a “Europe trip to see my mom, whom I haven’t seen in over a year.”
A woman wondered if she was wrong for “going home to Europe” to see her own mother while her boyfriend’s mother suffers from an array of problems. (iStock)
While the boyfriend said he supports her trip of several weeks, he also told her she was being “a little selfish,” the woman wrote.
The boyfriend apparently asked her, “If I were dying, would you quit your job to be with me?” and “If it were your mom, would you help her?”
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The woman said she “felt pressured to say yes. But truth is, my family wouldn’t lie to me or use me like this.”
The woman concluded that she “loves” her boyfriend and wants “to be there for him. But I don’t trust his mom, and this is starting to affect our relationship.”
She then wondered if she was wrong for “going home to Europe.”
A woman writing on Reddit (not pictured) is conflicted about her own trip to Europe and her boyfriend’s apparently ailing mother. (iStock)
Some 5,000 people have reacted to the personal situation to date — with the vast majority siding with the stressed young woman.
“Why is his family more important than yours?”
Wrote a top commenter, “I know you love your boyfriend, but you need to ask yourself if you’re willing to give up your own life for him and his mom, because it’s never going to stop. It could stop if he chooses to set boundaries, but it doesn’t sound like he’ll do that.”
Wrote another person, “Break up. Move out. Go on vacation. Stop dealing with crazy mom and [boyfriend].”
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Said yet another individual, “Why is his family more important than yours? I would tell him that he should move her to assisted living or an apartment and hire help. Let him know that while you love him, you are not lighting your future on fire to help someone who won’t help themselves.”
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And yet another person wrote, “Stay in Europe would be my advice. Sounds exhausting.”
Said another commenter, “Run! Escape!”
